I Forgot My Camera

Wow, I have not written in a while. But I never had any intention of stopping completely. The biggest challenge with writing is also the most fundamental part of writing: the subject. When I decided to make this blog, I didn’t want to have any kind of theme or subject or whatever idea that I had to stick to. Back when I was writing my basketball blog, finding something to write about was a bit easier. It was finding the time (and mustering up the effort) that was a pain in the ass. The frustrating part of all of this is that I really enjoy writing. It’s cathartic to be sure, but there is something else about it that, well… that I have a hard time putting into words. I’ll get back to this thought a little later.

I spend a good portion of my day on the road. My family owns a small office supply company in Florida and I’m the one who does most of our deliveries to our customers. It’s not the only hat that I wear but it’s usually the first job that I complete during my average day.  Coincidentally, I had this exact same job from about 1999-2001 but I was working for different companies at that time. The point being that I’ve spent a lot of time traveling the streets of South Florida. It’s very, very, rare for me to ever reference Mapquest as I can pretty much tell you exactly where something is if you give me an address in Dade or Broward.

So as you can imagine, I’ve seen some pretty interesting shit during those many hours on the road. Some of the stuff I see may only be interesting to me but I imagine there are others intrigued by seemingly ordinary minutia. You would think that I would have realized a long time ago that I should keep a camera with me to document some of this stuff. Well, the thought has crossed my mind many times, but have I ever brought one with me? Nope. Sure, I have a camera phone but it’s not the same. I hate camera phones. I don’t subscribe to the “Its better then nothing” philosophy either. The beauty of photography is it’s timelessness and camera phones are the embodiment of not having time to do it right. Nobody would ever confuse me for a professional photographer but you don’t have to be to take a great picture. A great photographer can make a picture tell a story. But anybody can see a story and take a picture of it.

So I’ve decided I’m going to bring a camera along with me from now on. What will I take pictures of? Well, aside from the endless amounts of hilarity that the denizens of South Florida provide, I really would like to take pictures of the area itself. More specifically, the, um, buildings. No, not the architecture (not exactly anyway) but just the essence of the buildings and their surroundings themselves. I’ll explain. Recently I’ve become increasingly fascinated with commercial buildings constructed during the late 1950’s -80’s. The “Suburban Sprawl” era. (Hang in there with me) To be even more specific, I’m damn near mesmerized by buildings from that era that are either abandoned or are rapidly deteriorating. There is something haunting about these buildings that were built during an era of “optimism” and “progress” and are getting older and more obsolete by the second. I would go on and maybe even go into detail about some of these buildings and why I’m infatuated with them but that’s really what a lot of my future posts are going to be about in the not to distant future. Same goes for the other stories that I see on the road every day. In a way this is actually in keeping with the idea that I don’t want my blog to have one specific theme or subject. I will just be recording some of the things that I see in everyday life along with other thoughts and rants.

To finish up, let me get back to what I was talking about at the end of the first paragraph. The wonderful thing about writing on the internet is the permanence that it has. You’re thoughts are recorded and can’t be lost in a fire or thrown away in the trash like they could be if you were writing in a journal. The Internet can’t suffer from Alzheimer’s or get amnesia. Yes, a website can get deleted but in theory your work can survive indefinitely. Once something is on the web, it’s very likely to stay on the web at least in some form, somewhere. This is not true for all of those moments that we all encounter every day that are gone as soon as they happen. This is not true for all of those different places that I see every day that are hanging on for dear life, and are destined to be destroyed for the sake of “progress”. But with a camera and an Internet connection, you can preserve some of those moments and give your future-self a tangable memory. That is, if you actually remember to bring your camera with you.

Carl Hiaasen’s New Childrens Book: SCAT

Carl Hiaasen is one the most well known and respected  journalists in South Florida. He has written for the Miami Herald since 1976 and has authored (or contributed to) 17 books. Personally, I’ve always enjoyed his work. Regardless if you agree with his opinion pieces in the Herald or not, they are always good read.

But I think Mr. Hiaasen might have made a mistake in the title of his next book, called Scat. Scat, is a children’s book according to his website and I’m sure it will be very good. But titling it Scat? Um, I’m not going to link to any descriptive pictures or anything but you can find a definition of the term (Oh, like you know what the fuck it means you assholes!) here at the Urban Dictionary.

I’m sure Mr. Hiaasen is not aware of the term and if he is, I’m guessing that he thinks people are mature enough to know that the book is not about people shitting all over each other, by choice… but, come on!!! Scat!? Really!?

Holy shit.

Back in the Day, He was just Barry Obama

Saw this photo on Drudge yesterday (Thanks Brett). I’m already planning a trip to the Oakland Park Flea Market to get this printed on a t-shirt. Barack Obama is Time Mag’s “Person of the Year” and this was one of the photos from his college years. Here are some more. Also, is that one of those q-ray bracelets?  Did they even make those back then?

Adam Walsh Case Closed

John Walsh has been known as the host of  ‘America’s Most Wanted’ since 1988.  What you may or may not know is that his son, Adam was abducted from the Hollywood Mall (FL) on July 27th, 1981. He was only 6 years old. On August 10th of that year, Adam’s head was found in a canal in Vero Beach.

I was two years old at that time. But I grew up in Hollywood, FL just a few minutes away from where Adam Walsh was abducted. And while I was too young to remember the incident at the time it happened, the reverberations in the community were felt for years. I can clearly remember my early years at school when we would have assemblies and they would have police officers and teachers telling us about the Adam Walsh story and that we must not under any circumstances talk to strangers. I know that all kids get the “strangers speech” but we had a terrifying real life example that was discussed with us over and over again. I can even remember watching the movie ‘Adam‘, with my mom. And I can remember her crying her eyes out at the end of it.

They closed the Adam Walsh case today, 27 years later. The man who the police, and John Walsh, believe committed the murder died in prison 12 years ago. But for a lot of kids who grew up in Hollywood, Adam’s story will live with us forever.

Man Builds Fem-Bot. Robot Uprising Inevitable

Robots have moved ahead of zombies in the “what creation/accident of mankind is most likely to exterminate us in the near future” category.  Le Trung, an inventor from Brampton, Ontario has created “Aiko”, an android that is capable of balancing your checkbook, remembering your favorite drinks, and slapping the shit out of you if your lust for some hot man on machine action gets a little too frisky. “Like a real female she will react to being touched in certain ways. If you grab or squeeze too hard she will try to slap you. She has all senses except for smell,” he said.

“Her software could be redesigned to simulate her having an orgasm and reacting to touch as if she is playing hard to get or being straight to the point,” says Trung.

Mr. Trung claims that having a cyborg fuck buddy was not the point of building Aiko. Nobody is going to believe that but lets give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he has other intentions for this abomination. After thinking about the possibilities (and I spent at least 3 minutes thinking about this) of having an android at your side, there is one more option that may make it worthwhile:

Then again, you could end up playing the role of Kung Lao in that video if Aiko decided that it was tired of doing your fucking taxes and stirring your appletinis. Good job Mr. Trung.

Irrational Fears

Dan O’Brien had a good article on Cracked today. Toward the end of his post, he talks about irrational fears. His, involves that of his toilet and the horrors he fears it will unleash on him. He also posts an update at the end:

***UPDATE: If the comments of this article are any indication, (as well as the 100+ emails I’ve received), the people of the world are just as interested in irrational fears as I am. To speak to this desire, the lovely and talented Lounsey has decided to start a Blog wherein users can submit their own irrational fears, and waste hours reading about the fears of others.

I checked out the link in there and it directs you to a site called ‘Irrational Fears’. The title pretty much lays out the premise. The whole idea is that people share their unusual and irrational fears. For example:

I can not and will not touch Styrofoam or cotton balls. The noise it makes as it tears apart makes my molars hurt. It makes me want to die a little bit. -Pappy Riley

Win. I really hope this site takes off. If they end up getting a ton of submissions, and I would not be surprised if they did, then I can see this being one of those sites that cuts into the productivity of one’s work day. So go check it out and pass it along. And if you’ve got some weird phobias that make no sense what so ever email them to theonlythingtofear@hotmail.com.

O.J. Headed to Jail

I remember June 17, 1994 very clearly. I was 14 years old at the time. Before that famous Bronco chase, O.J. was a universally liked celebrity. He was one of the greatest running backs in NFL history and after he retired from playing football, O.J. was an NFL sideline reporter, he was in those Hertz Commercials, and he had parts in the ‘Naked Gun’ films. So even though I was too young to remember him as an active player, I was very aware of who he was. As it turns out, neither myself or anyone else knew the real O.J. Simpson.

The trial was the driving news story every day until October 3, 1995 when the jury acquitted O.J. of murdering Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. Nothing in my lifetime outside of 9/11 seemed to consume people in this country as much as that trial did. Nothing divided people in this country like it did either. The trial came on the heels of the Rodney King beating and the L.A. riots that followed. The whole situation felt like another powder keg waiting to blow up. I remember very clearly being at school the day the jury was going to deliver the verdict. The teacher had a TV in the classroom and he put the event on TV. There were a few guys in the class who made it very clear to anyone within earshot that if O.J. were to be convicted, they were going to “get” the white boys after school. Being one of only two or three white boys in the class, and knowing that these were the type of guys who would live up to their word, I’m pretty sure I had a nice little ass kicking coming my way if justice was served.

Still, I can’t say that I felt any relief when the verdict came down. As the trial wore on I felt it was very, very, clear that Simpson was guilty. The most uncomfortable thing about the immediate aftermath of the trial was the split amongst blacks and whites upon the verdicts. I didn’t know any black people who thought O.J. was guilty and I didn’t know any white people who thought he was innocent. It was the first time in my young life I realized that America viewed life through racially tinted lenses. It was not a pleasant revelation.

If he was smart, O.J. would have disappeared after the trial. He didn’t. O.J. had no problem playing in golf tournaments or going out to dinner or just generally carrying on with his life as if nothing ever happened. I suppose his acquittal afforded him those rights. In 1997, he lost a civil suite to the Goldman family that found him liable for the death of Ron Goldman. Ironically, this was the beginning of the slow end for “The Juice”. The lawsuit stripped him of much of his wealth and arguably caused O.J. to wind up in the predicament he was in this afternoon. His latest trial was a result of him trying to reclaim some property which he said was stolen from him.

This time there is no threat of rioting in the streets. The start contrast in the interest in this trial compared to the murder trial is not all that surprising since nobody died as a result of his latest crime. O.J. may be all over the news tickers today and possibly even on some front pages tomorrow morning. But being that the trial was going on the same time as the election (I’m not sure if the trial was even on TV) I don’t think that anyone was following it too closely. The news networks don’t even seem to agree on how long he has to spend in prison. I’ve heard that he has anywhere from 6-9 years minimum if he is paroled and a maximum of 15-33 years if he serves a full sentence depending on the source. Although I do find it interesting how a person can go from being one of the most polarizing figures in society to a story that everyone will forget in a week.

O.J. was a completely pathetic site in the courtroom today. He looked like a completely broken person. What a waste of a life.

Creepiest Obama Commercial Ever

I don’t want Obama’s “confident smile” and “kind eyes” leering at me as a throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave, judging me as a add salt to said bag of popcorn. The guy at 11 seconds into the video, however, seems to be all to comfortable with Barack as he scribes some kind of (suicide? ransom?) note as the President-Elect in ceramic form gazes off into the distance.

Another terrifying moment occurs at 1:17 as a very um, non-liberal looking family explains that they “thought this day would never come”.  I bet you didn’t, fuckers! Anyway, it’s just an awful, awful, commercial. The plate makers even included the 27 undetermined electoral votes on the back of the plate. They try to justify it by saying that they are using the numbers from election day. Whatever.

Enjoy.

Ros-Lehtinen hangs up on Obama… twice.

In a long tradition of Dade County politicians making the news because of something embarassing, Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen hangs up on Barack Obama twice thinking its a crank call.

‘I thought: `Why would Obama want to call a little slug on the planet like me?’ ” Ros-Lehtinen said.

Indeed.

Photos of Old Miami

I’ve lived in South Florida for all but 3 of my 29 years of existence. The area has changed quite a bit during my lifetime. Today I live in a suburb of Fort Lauderdale that only 10 years ago was pretty much an outskirt of the Everglades. The whole metropolitan area of Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach county is relatively “new” considering that the city of Miami was only incorporated in 1896 (Fort Lauderdale and Palm beach were incorporated in 1911) whereas New York City has been around since the 1600’s. People down here are not very nostalgic about the area since a large portion of the population has moved here from somewhere else.

So its pretty rare that you will walk into some place and see any old photographs of the area. Tobacco Road which is the oldest restaurant & bar in Miami has a few scattered pictures around the building of the surrounding area circa the early 1900’s. But its the exception.

Well, while browsing the interwebz I found out that Google hosts an archive of millions of old Life Magazine photographs. They even give you a tip at the bottom of the page on how to narrow down your search to only include the Life Magazine pictures. I decided to give it a try by using “Miami source:Life” in the Google search box and found some pretty cool pictures of Miami in the 1940’s. Obviously any Google search could have yielded even more results but I enjoyed the Life Mag. photos because of their quality and the way that so many of them seemed to capture a moment.

Here’s some of the photographs that I really liked:

Love the Mink/Bikini Combo